Christmas.

Well all the stress has begun to ease. 3 days to go and we finally have things settled. But again this time of year has reminded me how I need to crusade against the shops at this time of year.
I know it sounds unfair to those who do not have autistic Christmas but for those of us who do this can be the most stressful time of year. I know it is stressful for everyone cause we want a great and fun Christmas. But with an autistic child I have to avoid shops from October till now.
The big shops seem to think they have to stock Christmas items as early as October. Well some of our kids don’t understand that there is still a three month wait and why does Halloween come in between.
We try to have things in place but the shops get earlier every year and the T.V adds don’t help. So our stress levels increase.
It’s bad enough that the shop lay outs are not always sensory appropriate.
Well that’s enough moaning cause even if I crusade it won’t change ha ha.
I do have some fantastic news though. My little man made the most amazing Christmas decoration in school for us. At parents evening his DT teacher had said he struggled a bit with the tools but worked well. I love this years decoration and the time and love that went into it.

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Been gone a while.

Well it’s been some tim since I was here. What with changing jobs. Family life and just things in general, I have not had much time for anything else. I hope to be back and stick around this time.
Let’s give you an update.
Things have been changing for the better. All the worry of starting secondary school were unnecessary it when smoothly and has made a big change. My little man has also started kickboxing. Yes I know not ideal for some one with anger and aggression but it has had an amazing affect. Not only does it burn excessive energy but as it is a full contact sport it reduces all the aggression as well. It has also improved eye contact, confidence and the all important self defence.
Will go in to it more once I sit down and can list all the positives properly.
Well till next time. X

Here we go again

Not been around for a while. Its that time again were all our energy and focus goes in to the school transition. We were hopping that this year would go with the minimal of fuss, cause we started extra early.

How wrong could we have been. We have talked about it, researched it and all was going well until Friday. The day of the first visit!!! The night before was tense but manageable. we talked to the little man again and went on line so he could take a virtual tour using Google earth. We had fun doing it and the tension eased.

Then Friday morning came around far to quickly, and so did the rampage. I love my little man so much that it breaks my heart to see him like that. Two hours of hell. The poor little man was so distressed hitting and screaming and kicking. Well he never made it to his new school. Lets hope he makes it on Wednesday. I wish there was an easier way to get through these times for him. Will just have to keep trying. Going to recommend to the school and the council to put virtual tours of the school on their web sites to see if that would help relieve some of the stress of going some were new.

Fingers crossed for the next one. Wish him luck.

Its not always hard

The start of the half term holidays and wouldn’t you know it I have come down with a chest infection that has floored me. My first thought this morning was I cant cope with today. I dreaded getting up to tell my little man that I could not take him out today cause I felt so ill. At first I didn’t think I would be able to get out of bed.

I had only been awake a short time when in he comes all smiles and full of energy. His smile did not last when he saw my face. He gave me a big hug and said he was going downstairs.  When I came down I tries to explain that I was not well today. He did not take it to well.

He huffed and puffed like the big bad wolf for over an hour, but not as bad as I thought he would. His Dad came in and packed me off to bed again. I really do look like death. An hour later in comes my little man with a hot drink and a sandwich, another big hug and says get better soon mamma me and dad are having a boys day but we wont forget you.

How good is that. He is having a great day helping his dad and playing games and every so ofter he has pops in to tell me all about it followed by a get better hug.

I thought it would be a hard day today but it just shows that its not always hard sometimes is difficult and sometimes things work out better than you thought they ever could. And I feel better already.

Just me

Been hiding for a while. I cant believe how fast time goes. One minute you have time to sit and write about how life is going and then it just takes over.

The good thing is all is well. No melt downs and we are looking forward to the next school holidays. I live this time when you can think of spending loads of time with the kids. Unfortunately when the time arrives the kids have grown up and don’t want to spend time with their parents hahaha.

I look at my kids and I become selfish. I don’t want them to grow up. Not because I want them to rely on me forever but because of the world out there. I am scared to let go but know I must do it one day. Until then I hope I can just enjoy the amazing things they bring to not only my life but the lives of everyone they meet

I look at the news and think were is the world I knew. It has changed do much over the years I don’t recognize it anymore.

I just hope the world turns out to be like the world I remember for my kids. The world were there are communities that help each other, were family stay together and were we feel we belong.

A very Proud Mum

I have to tell every one. I am a very proud mum. Every mum is proud of their kids and want to tell the world when they do something amazing and I am no different.

I have already said in the past that I have an amazing Daughter but she has gone above and beyond this time.

She was off school for an inset day and chose to come in to work with me for the day. After spending the day in school with me working with me, we were talking on the way home and she asked about Makaton.

“Why do we learn another Language in school, why cant we learn Makaton as with the rise of Autism and disabilities it is more relevant to today” Her words not mine.

So when she went back to school the next day she discussed it with her friends and then at the end of the week she spoke with the head of modern languages and did a power point presentation. They are now in the process of trying to set up a extra curricular class to teach students makaton.

All this at 13yrs old. I am so proud of her. she and her friends are the next generation of teachers and parents and they are choosing to prepare themselves now. Education is important and she is helping educate her generation in empathy and how to communicate through the barriers.

Discapline

Had an interesting chat the other day with a support worker who told me you can not discipline a person with autism.

Now I know this may be controversial to some people but i totally disagree. Every one needs discipline, it is the way we learn. Even those with any type if disability needs to know there are consequences to their actions, whether they choose to acept them is a different story.

With out discipline we would not have choice. Yes I know that due to the nature of autism they may not realize that it is not acceptable behavior, hence why we use discipline.

There are many ways to use appropriate discipline to re-enforce a positive change it just takes a bit longer and a lot more understanding and constancy.

I know not every one will agree with this the support worker certainly didn’t and that really disappointed me after being one myself for 10 years and it made me think of the type of person I would like to support my son in the future. It has given me a lot to think about as to how this could impact his life in the future. Will ponder on this some more then post what I come up with. All I know now is I think he needs more insight to some one like my son and how discipline can help him and has so far.

why wont you listen and try to understand

It is driving me crazy. It is bad enough that there are people out there who don’t understand why my little man is the way he is but for family to just refuse to listen drives me mad.

OK it took us a long time to accept it but we have and it helps. But when family just refuse and then cause arguments because they refuse to accept or listen is just not on.

No one wants this for any member of their family. the daily struggles are worth it for the daily achievements. We take those and move on beaming proudly at the huge effort our amazing children have put in.

I beamed cause my little man tried a new food and the family members around me did not realize what a major achievement that was. Certain ones refuse to even try to understand his behavioral issues and then blame him because we try to tell them how to handle those situations better.

Please listen to parents when they tell you how to handle these things they do this every day. And one of the grates things any one can give me in these situations is knowing you listen and understand.

Here we go again

Well here we go again. The start of a new school term. I used to hate this time of year, it is always hard to get back in to the routine after a long two week holiday. The night before was always a mass of meltdowns and crisis. It usually takes the first week of a holiday to get in to the holiday routine and get over the not going to school meltdowns hahaha.

It has taken many years and many, many inventive ways to get over this. Our new one is that we have home school. I recently changed my job to become a teaching assistant for children with autism and it took a long time to explain this to my little man but now he understands it has actually made life easier. So now we have school during the holidays. For two hours each day we go through the motions of our own school day.

Our school day starts with helping to make breakfast (this is maths). We weigh everything and time it to cook. This can be fun and he really seems to enjoy it and is learning life skills as well. We then read a story together this year it is the hobbit. After a bit of lunch its what ever he has chosen. The really go thing about this is we get to spend some really good quality time together. Even his sister takes over at times and will go on the laptop with him or watch a film.

It sounds crazy but having home school time has helped make the holidays easier. We still have the problems when it is time to go back to school but not as much cause there is still a lot of structure in his day and that helps with the temporary transitions that time off school causes.

I just wish there were more clubs during the holidays he could attend, there are few and those that are around are either to expensive or have horrendously long waiting lists.

Lets hope that more money is put into the provision of services for children and adults with Autism so they can have the social life they need in a safe environment and is not money led. That is my wish for the future and who knows wishes do come true (sometimes).

How we change the world

To day we change the world.

Yesterday We changed the world

and tomorrow we will change it some more.

I said this to a friend today and they just laughed and said “Yea OK sure you did”. Well Yes WE did.

It was only a small change but it equaled a big change. Today we changed someones opinion. My little man was having a small meltdown whilst we were out over no getting what he wanted. Yea I can just pay out as much as he wants when he wants for what HE wants lol. And you know how those little meltdowns make everyone stop and stare and think his behavior is terrible. So After 10 minutes I got sick of the facial comments (that look of disapproval).

Me being me and my little man being himself we carried on as if there was no one around. Then some old lady says to her friend “he would have had his legs slapped in my day for being like that” well this is my day and my son so taking a deep breath I walked over and asked the lady would she hit a child with a Physical disability, would she hit a child who was blind, would she hit a child who could not speak? when she answered “no” I asked why she thought it was to hit a child with autism.

The shock on her face is memorable. After a chat to explain what Autism is and how it affects my some she apologized for her comment and said she would think twice before jumping to conclusions.

Autism is a disability you cant see, there are people out there who still don’t know what it is and how it affects our children and our lives when people judge with out knowledge.

My son might not be able to express himself in a sociably acceptable way so I will be his voice until the world learns to speak his language and stop insisting that he speak theirs.

So Today we changed the world by changing someones opinion and educating them. And tomorrow we will do it all again, one person at a time. Baby steps all the way.